Cuckoo Clock
by Transient Joy
Summary: AU. Ignores Naruto Gaiden. In which we all know Sakura is really the maid...and unhinged. SasuKarin. Sakura-bashing. Crack. Not meant to be taken seriously, really.


A/N: Happy New Year! I cannot believe it's already 2016. Oh God, I'm old...

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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She had aced her test.

It was a rather simple test actually, however in the way that the class had reacted after the test made her think that she was the only one who thought so.

The class test was a timeline of events of the history of Konoha. They hadn't even been made to describe each of the events so Uchiha Sarada could not understand where the difficulty lay.

While the rest of the class puzzled over when the village had been founded or whether the Ninja Academy was established before or after the Military Police Force, Sarada happily scribbled down her answers which she had known for years already. She even added a few extras which had not been in the textbook given to each student at the Academy but rather from the copious amount of books found at her house.

Sarada patiently awaited as her sensei handed out the results from the test while listening to the various groans as each student received their marks.

As Aburame-sensei handed her the test, Sarada suppressed a wide smile as she saw the red ink adorning the top of the page with 100 percent in a neat circle.

"Well done, Sarada. Why? You have done excellent, as expected," said her sensei in his usual monotone voice.

The rest of the class was met with various levels of disapproval from Aburame-sensei for the low marks which he attributed to their attempt at studying the night before. It was another thing Sarada didn't understand, at her house she had been learning all of this since she could read at age three. Did her classmates not do the same?

"Tch, this is so troublesome. My mother is so going to tan my hide for this," muttered Shikadai as he slumped to his desk, closing his eyes.

"Speak for yourself, Shikadai. I got a C, Anko-sensei definitely going to take me for dango today," grinned a dark skinned girl. Chou Chou's pigtails bounced as she pumped her fist in the air for her enthusiasm for food.

Sarada suppressed a snort. The rotund girl actually thought that was an achievement. Sarada knew that if she ever brought home a grade like that she would be thoroughly ashamed and met with disapproval. It was just how she was raised.

"I seem to have beat you again, fatty. I believe that is the fifth time this month, correct?" asked a pale skinned boy. He carried a blank expression on his face, his green eyes containing contrasting against his dark blond hair.

"Hey, don't call her that, Inojin! It's mean!" shouted Boruto with his usual boisterous attitude.

Inojin sniffed, "It's not like you did any better, dumbass."

A noise of indignation sounded from Boruto as he leapt up to punch Inojin for his name calling. It was not the first time the pale skinned boy had triggered Boruto's temper, it was a usual occurrence in this class. As Aburame-sensei called the class to order, Sarada couldn't help but notice her classmates' similarities to their parents.

Nara Shikadai shared more with his father than just his appearance. Despite being the Hokage's advisor, in the times that Sarada had met with Shikamaru, he was lazy and would rather stare at clouds than hold a conversation. Sarada could not understand how he had such an important job with such a demeanor. When she had asked her father, he had grudgingly said that Shikamaru had an intelligence that surpassed his own and that appearances can be deceiving.

Sarada took his advice very seriously and started looking at people more carefully than she had before. From this she had learnt that Shikadai, while lazy, fearlessly defended those weaker than him and was in fact very caring.

Inojin, the pale boy who possessed his mother's soft features and hair colour actually valued friendship greatly. Despite his abrasive attitude, he showed his true character when faced with adversity.

Like his father, he held a flair for drawing but Sarada had observed his aptitude for the medical art like his mother. While he was not utilizing medical ninjutsu as of yet, she knew that one day he would be quite proficient in it.

Akamichi Chou Chou, the last of the famed In-Shika-Chou trio, took after her father in size. It was only unfortunate that she hadn't quite grown into her features as of yet, and overall looked quite pudgy at this stage. A steady diet of dango after school would do that too you as well.

Sarada knew Chou Chou possessed her mother's colouring but beside that she knew very little about the Kumo nin who moved to Konoha after the Fourth Shinobi War took place. In stories she had heard, Sarada learnt that Chou Chou's parents had quite the love affair which was kept a secret for a long time. It came as quite a shock to many people which left them quite bemused to how their relationship had started.

As Aburame-sensei called on Boruto for an answer, he stared blankly at the board, clearly being caught off guard after staring out the window. He muttered some ridiculous answer about wizards which caused the class to burst out into raucous laughter. Boruto grinned at the class's reaction while Sarada noticed the slight twitch on Aburame-sensei's face. It wasn't noticeable to everyone else, but to Sarada who grew up in a house with a stoic father forced her to learn to discern minute reactions like that.

That _stupid Bolt._ It wasn't her first time he had done things like that. He was frequently called out for not paying attention and was always getting into trouble. He didn't care about class and barely scrapped though with marks. Boruto had an annoying habit of pulling pranks on people which the one thing he excelled in greatly.

It was a trait he had no doubt inherited from his father. The Nanadaime Hokage in his youth was famed for his numerous pranks played on the village. It was something he had passed down to his son. While Sarada respected the Hokage, he was her father's best friend after all- there had to be something her father saw in him- she could not understand how he could have a son like Bolt.

Naruto-ojisan however no doubt Boruto's father. The resemblance was uncanny. They both possessed bright blond hair, albeit Bolt's was slightly wavier than the Hokage's, and cerulean blue eyes. Boruto also had two whisker marks in his face, an uncommon trait which had been passed down to both of the Hokage's children.

Boruto even had a signature verbal like his father did which was frequently spewed out no matter the topic of conversation.

Boruto was almost a carbon copy of his father. He possessed few characteristics of his mother unlike his sister. Hell, Boruto's name was only a single character difference than his father's.

The Hokage was an exuberant person no doubt, but he was also kind and down to earth. Despite his busy schedule as Hokage, Naruto-ojisan still found time to navigate the village, greeting people and finding out what concerns they have and what he could do to help. He really wasn't like any of the previous Hokage.

So Sarada couldn't understand how he could have a son like Boruto.

Boruto was annoying.

He was brash and loud and interrupted class all the time. It was something Sarada couldn't tolerate. She was an Uchiha damn it, she came to the Ninja Academy to learn so she could become a strong ninja like her father one day. It wasn't going to happen if she could obtain her education due to Boruto's lack of impulse control.

"Taidaima," called out Sarada glumly as she entered her house.

"Ahhh. Okaeri, Salad," called out a pink haired woman.

Sarada twitched slightly before turning to the book case, completely ignoring the pink haired woman who was wearing her signature white apron and head scarf. In her hands she held a bamboo duster as she had been cleaning the shelves.

"Mama," she began quietly. "Boys…are really stupid, aren't they?"

"Ehhh? What was that Salad?" cried the pink haired woman shrilly, pulling a face.

Sarada sighed. She was at it again.

"Let me guess…Boruto again?"

Sarada ignored the pink haired woman as she animatedly talked, throwing wild gestures in the air with her hands that caused the ladder she was standing on to wobble dangerously.

"… so I totally understand, Salad-chan. When I was genin-"

Sarada interrupted her before she could launch into another long winded story. "Maybe you should finish cleaning before Papa gets home."

Comprehension dawned in her eyes as she realized how much work she still had to do. She still had to wash the dishes, fold the laundry, clean the windows…

"Ne, don't you want to help me, Salad dear?" Sakura asked.

Sarada counted to ten in her head slowly, just like how her father taught when controlling her temper. By the time she got to eight she took a deep breath and answered, "No."

Sakura's face fell and Sarada felt a twinge of guilt which she quickly squashed. Her father would be home soon anyway.

"Remember to clean the frame," Sarada said loudly as she left the room to start her homework. She wanted to be done when her father got home so she could spend more time with him.

On the bookshelf, in the same spot Sarada had been standing earlier lay an elegant photo frame containing a woman. She had fair skin and crimson red hair in a distinct hairstyle, short and spiky on the right hand side and long and straight on the left hand side. She also possessed crimson eyes topped off with red rimmed glasses, identical to the one Sarada wore.

Sarada sat in her room, contemplating about what to do with that _stupid Bolt._ She would have to teach him a lesson somehow, but how? Maybe a prank? No, that was too childish. She wasn't going to sink to his level. Hmm, maybe she could ask her father later.

Sarada knew why Boruto acted the way he did. He was looking for attention from everyone. No, not everyone-just his father. The Hokage was a busy man, overseeing the village and ensuring safety to the land. It was a hard job, a job that took him away from his father for long periods of time.

'Maybe he and I do have some things in common…At least when it comes to Papa.'

Sarada understood why he had to leave the village so often. He was atoning for his past mistakes and trying to make up to all those he had wronged. So Sarada knew why he was away so often, but it didn't mean she didn't miss him when he was gone.

"I'm so… SHANNNAROOO!"

Sarada clapped a hand over her mouth as she realized what she had just said. It wouldn't be good if her father heard her speak like that. Sarada couldn't understand how that word ended up in her vocabulary. She gritted her teeth and realized it must have been because she had been spending so much extra time with that woman again. That was the only reason that word would have slipped out.

Sarada was alerted to the soft sound of the door sliding open. Her father was home!

Sarada raced to the door and skidded to a stop when she saw the figure in front of her. A dark haired man, identical to hers, reached down to remove his bag and cloak after his long journey.

Sarada approached her father slowly and couldn't quite stop herself breaking into a sprint as she threw herself into her father's arm.

Sasuke nuzzled his daughter gently as her grip around his neck tightened. "Tadaima, Papa."

"Okaeri, Sarada," crooned Sasuke softy as he kissed the top of her head, but not letting go of her.

It felt like he hadn't seen her in so long. Sasuke gazed at his daughter, noticing the changes in her appearance. Her hair had grown an inch longer and she was wearing a different jacket that she normally wore.

Sarada missed her father terribly when he was away, so when he came back all she wanted to do was hold him and not let go.

She knew it was childish of her and that she should act more maturely, especially since she was at the Ninja Academy now. She needed to act sensibly, like a grown-up, and especially not like that _stupid Bolt,_ who was both childish and immature.

Her father didn't seem to mind her hugs though.

Upon her father's arrival home from his missions they would journey to the Uchiha shrine together to honour their dead. It had become a tradition of sorts, one that they shared with nobody.

Sarada watched as her father bowed his head as he prayed from his brother, her Uncle Itachi. When she had been old enough, her father had sat her down and explained their clan's history. Sarada had been astonished to hear her uncle's acts and how different her father had been when he was younger. Her father had made sure she understood what a hero her Uncle Itachi was and how much he had sacrificed for peace.

Her uncle wasn't the only reason they came to the shrine.

The same picture of the woman with the crimson hair and red rimmed glasses was found in the shrine too. With its enlarged size, Sarada couldn't help but think that this photo made the woman look sorrowful as if she knew of her impending death.

Sarada was silent as she prayed for the bespectacled woman. Her mother.

Sarada enjoyed the walk back to the house with her father. Their stroll was leisured as her father asked her question about the Academy and her progress with her training.

As her father opened the shogi door to their house, Sarada couldn't quite squash the rising regret that her alone time with her father was over.

Sakura squealed loudly as Sasuke entered the room and immediately hugged him as her father stood frozen still. She started fussing over him, only for Sasuke to bat her hands away. Sarada couldn't quite hide the smirk on her face at the disappointment in Sakura's eyes.

It disappeared in an instant as Sakura smiled brightly. "Welcome home, anata.

Sasuke gave her a dark look at the peculiar address she used before shaking it out of his head and choose to wash up for dinner.

Dinner was a quiet affair. The only sounds were of cutlery against plates and the low sounds of chewing. One might find the silence uncomfortable, but for Sasuke and Sarada, they found it soothing.

The peaceful silence was interrupted by Sakura's loud gasp.

"Oh, I just remembered. I read in the paper about the circus coming to town, doesn't that sound amazing?"

Sasuke looked dubious but Sarada chose to seize the opportunity to spend more time with her father.

"Papa, can we please go."

Sasuke looked searchingly in her eyes and after a moment he nodded.

"Wonderful! We are going to have a wonderful time," beamed Sakura as she clapped her hands.

Sasuke frowned having not missed the _we_ part. "We?"

Sakura nodded brightly. "I just can't wait. I read that there was going to be tigers…"

Sarada watched as her father shot Sakura an incredulous look.

"Sakura," paused Sasuke, catching her attention so she could listen to him very carefully. "There is no _we_."

"Huh?" Sakura titled her head to the side looking confused.

"Sarada and I will be going to the circus," replied Sasuke pointedly.

Sakura frowned, her nose crinkling which vaguely reminded Sarada of a rabbit. "Yes, I know. We just decided we will be going."

Sasuke suppressed a groan. " _We_ does not include you, Sakura."

"Of course it does, Sasuke-kun," pouted Sakura, huffing slightly.

Sasuke bristled at the honourific but said nothing, choosing his next words warily.

"Sakura? You do remember our…arrangement, right?"

Sakura blinked. "Arrangement? What on earth are you talking about, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke's nostrils flared but he held no outward signs of emotion.

"The arrangement we had decided upon where you would care for Sarada during my absence and tend to the household— _that arrangement_."

Sakura giggled. "Oh that, you mean where I would become your wife, right?"

Sasuke froze, chopsticks in the middle of the air, and Sarada couldn't help but think she had never seen her father with an expression like that before.

" _Wife?"_ croaked Sasuke, his eyes wide.

Sakura nodded and patted his arm gently. "Yes, wife. Are you feeling alright, dear? Perhaps you are overtired from your mission?"

Sasuke snatched his arm from her as if she had burnt him.

"Are you insane? You are _not_ my wife," snapped Sasuke loudly in an incensed voice uncharacteristic of his own.

Sakura actually looked hurt and Sarada felt a creeping sympathy for her before she reminded herself who he woman actually was.

"Of course I am. Why else would I be here?"

Sasuke gawked at the woman, struggling to find his voice. "You are a housekeeper…I hired you."

Sakura sniffed and rolled her eyes. "You know dear, you sometimes say such cruel things. I really work so hard to take care of things."

Sasuke spoke through gritted teeth. _"Because I pay you."_

"DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS!" shouted Sakura, growling as she punched the table. The wood creaked noisily under her monstrous strength snapping into splintered pieces. Plates and dishes shattered splaying bits of food all over the room.

Sasuke's eyes bled red, Sharingan activating in one eye, and the Rinnegan eye becoming visible as his dark bangs blew aside. He pulled Sarada behind him, shielding her from the erratic pink haired woman in front of him.

Sarada was stunned. She watched the events unfold before her eyes as if it were a soap opera and not her own life. Never before had she ever seen Sakura act like that before. Sure, the woman had been quirky, but she was a shinobi and all shinobi had their idiosyncrasies. Sarada just didn't know Sakura's had been crazy.

Tears had appeared in Sakura's eyes running dark lines of eyeliner down her cheeks. Her eyes had a wild, feral look to it which made Sarada uneasy.

Sakura's voice took on a pleading edge to it as she shuffled closer to Sasuke. Sasuke kept his daughter close to him, ready to shunshin her away if it need be.

"Sasuke-kun, why are you acting this way? Do you remember how much fun we used to have? Remember how we conceived Salad…"

Sakura's eyes took on a glassy look as if she were recalling said non-existent memories.

Sasuke snorted. "Hn. You really are delusional. You _are not_ Sarada's mother."

"Lies!" hissed Sakura violently as she sunk to a crouch, approaching from the side Sarada was standing.

Sasuke drew his daughter closer to himself and away from Sakura.

He snarled as she pulled out a couple shuriken, throwing in them direction Sarada had just been standing.

"Salad's mine!" shrieked Sakura.

Sasuke made a noise at the back of his throat that sounded oddly like a laugh.

"No, she's not! Sarada is Karin's daughter. Anyone with eyes can see that, and you've just deluded yourself into thinking she's yours."

Sakura ran a hand throw her head, pulling at the pink strands with a savagery Sarada believed could tear them out.

Sakura clapped her hands over her eyes trying to drown out Sasuke's words.

"…always been Karin. You could never fathom my choosing Karin over you. Even after all the years of being dismissed by me, you still believed you had a chance. You're pathetic, Sakura."

Sakura had a forlorn look on her face, making her look younger than what she actually was. She was heartbroken.

Sarada couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Sakura was obviously unbalanced and her father was being unnecessarily harsh. Perhaps her father felt Sakura needed to hear this once and for all.

Sasuke's face was stoic not betraying not one hint of emotion. "You're annoying."

Sakura was still for a moment, unable to register Sasuke's words. As if a bell went off in her head, her face suddenly morphed into a wolfish grin, her white teeth glinting in the light before she lunged.

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 **AN: I do not ship SasuKarin. I do not ship SasuSaku and yes, I am aware that it is canon.**

 **However, _this fic_ ships SasuKarin.**


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